Our beloved mother and grandmother, Martha Helmine Rida (nee Ader), passed away unexpectedly but peacefully on the evening of September 28, 2009, with her family embracing her in a circle of love. Born in Kooraste, Estonia on April 17, 1921 to Rudolph and Ida Ader, Martha was the eldest of 7 siblings, which prepared her for a lifetime of mothering and nurturing — her greatest joy. Mom was happiest when she was needed and caring for others, whether it was family, neighbours, relatives, friends or even animals and her garden. Born a country girl and raised on the family farm, mom inherited a love of nature, animals and God from her beloved father that stayed with her all her life, but she also loved to imagine herself in high society, beautifully coiffed and dressed finely in elegant clothes and accessories. As a young woman, she had to give up her dreams of a higher education when she had to leave Estonia family members to escape the war, but a life worthy of a novel continued to unfold as she found refuge in Germany, met Daddy in England, and then settled in Canada in the mid-1950s. Tremendous joy followed with the birth of her two daughters, but then tragedy struck years later when her husband Arnold died in a car crash just two blocks from home. Mom found the strength to go on in raising her daughters and looking after her family, both in Canada and Estonia, and she cultivated a huge loving network of friends over more than 20 years of hosting international students who adopted her as their Canadian mother. She sacrificed a lot as a single mother, working nights as a nurse at Vancouver General Hospital so she could be home during the day for her daughters, and also taking on many extra jobs and opening her home to boarders to help make ends meet. Through it all, she tended her home and garden with devoted loving care, and also managed to live out her dream of dressing fashionably and looking her best — Mom, you were a class act! She succeeded in providing a beautiful home and always helping her loved ones when needed. Martha gave so much and her life was a blessing to many. An incredibly strong and beautiful spirit, we will always remember her devoted love of family, her generosity, her garden, her sewing, her beautiful home, and her delicious cooking and baking. Her life was a colourful tapestry woven from hard work, adventure, blessings, sacrifice, joy, pride, pain, tragedy, resilience, love, success, determination, compassion, stamina, stubbornness, generosity, and dreams come true, each one an intricate part of the masterpiece that was our beautiful, strong, courageous, and amazing mother!
Martha was predeceased by husband Arnold in 1964, baby sister Melanie, 7-year-old brother Karl, father and mother Rudolf and Ida Ader, and brother Philip (Vello). Mom is survived by her daughters Carmen and Karen; her precious grandson Jaden Rida; her sisters and their families Sale (Roland) Kangur in Estonia, Eha (kallista) Ader in Australia, Valve (Viljam) Vartina in Vancouver, sister-in-law Christine Ader in England; cousin Johannes Ader (Inez) in Toronto; numerous nieces, nephews, cousins and other extended family in Vancouver, England, Australia and Estonia, and many friends around the globe. We know she will forever be in the hearts not only of all her family but also of the many people to whom she opened her home and whose lives she touched with her love and care.
Mom was very proud to be a cousin of Hilda Taba, the internationally renowned Estonian-American curriculum theorist and teacher educator, who she held in very high esteem. Perhaps it is not by chance that the words of the poet Frank O'Hara that were spoken at Hilda's funeral serve just as well to describe who Mom was and will continue to be:
" ...it is in the external, active manifestation of yourself that you come across your identity, of who you are — in the work of your hands, in your family, in other people. You in others — this is your soul, this is what you are. This is what you have breathed and lived on and enjoyed throughout your life — your soul, your immortality, your life in others. And what now? You have always been in others and you will remain in others... This will be you — the you that enters the future and becomes a part of it."
Mom, we know you are now home with God, but we will miss your smile, your bright blue eyes, your kiss, holding your hand, your sweet voice saying “I love you too”, and so much more! You will always be a part of us, forever in our hearts, in our memories, and in our lives as we carry on with your loving and caring ways — until we meet again!
Martha’s family would like to thank all those who cared for her over the last 2 years at Brock Fahrni Pavilion.
A memorial service will be held on Friday, October 23rd at 2 p.m. for close family and friends at Canadian Memorial Centre for Peace at 16th and Burrard in Vancouver.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Mom’s name to the SPCA, one of her favourite charities — Mom loved animals a lot and it pleased her to help other people who looked out for them also.