A Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday June 9th, 2022 at 1:30 pm, at the Penticton United Church in Penticton, BC. Tea to follow.
A Celebration of Life will be held on Sunday, July 3rd, 2022 at 11:00 am, in Stenen, Saskatchewan. Lunch to follow.
Marcia Batie died on Mother’s Day, May 8th, 2022. She was 93. Her last four years of life were difficult. She was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2018. Multiple Myeloma is cancer of the bone marrow. Mom lived with pain, great pain. Our goal: to treat the pain. And we did, most of the time.
Ronnie and Lorane Chase drove Mom from Penticton to Hope on January 15th, 2019. I met them in Hope and Mom and I drove to Richmond. She had come to our home to live. It was difficult. The pain. The falling. And, so, with the help of a Physical Therapist, Mom was admitted to Minoru Residence and lived at the Residence for nearly three years, two of them Covid years. At Minoru Residence. she found community, Mom always found community, not the community she longed for, her family and friends of Stenen and Penticton, but a community where she was. Resilient and hopeful Mom was.
David Vaughn’s mother, Dorothy, was also a resident at Minoru Residence. He writes, your mom’s “vibrancy and engagement were in a league of their own - ever smartly dressed, sharp on current affairs, and a true Canadian sports fan - hockey, curling, the CFL (but definitely not the NFL as she told me repeatedly).” David continues, “As my Mom’s voice silenced over the past two years, Marcia was a devoted and deliberate advocate for her. She was vital in bridging care gaps for Mom, particularly with her facilitating the window visits and iPad photos of spring blooms. Our many wide-ranging dinner conversations pre-Covid were a highlight of the day, always helping to connect the perspective of what is truly important in life. We were blessed to get to know your Mom... her interest and curiosity for where/what [our daughters] were up to was maternally thoughtful and loving. Her gentle soothing conversations with me were precious comfort after Mom died. We were blessed to have had her imprint our lives with her spirit, character and vitality.”
Richard Rohr, priest, philosopher, writes in his daily meditations that “In order to live a moral life, a good life, an ubuntu life [1], we must commit to a life of love that means seeing all the things. See your neighbour suffering and do something about it. See a stranger labouring under a heavy load and help out. See lies spoken and shared in social media and call foul. See a friend soaring, and say, ‘I see you, beautiful creature’.” Mom did this with Dorothy, David’s Mom. Maybe she did the same for some of you that are here today?
I have looked at five boxes of photo albums in the past three weeks. I wanted to remember Mom’s other ninety years of life where she was a light in so many lives. She was encouraging and thankful and positive and loving and kind. Sounds like Mom was perfect. She was not; and still, she was wonderful.
And, after reading old letters kept, scanning pictures taken, remembering anniversaries- 40th, 50th, 60th- celebrated, I understood, again, and, deeply, that my mom lived “a moral life, a good life, an Ubuntu life.”
Ubuntu? What does that mean? Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning “I am because you are; I am because we are.”
Marcia Mae Batie, my mom, understood that she lived well because of each of “you”; she realized that she lived well when others lived well. She captured the fun-loving, positive, and resilient spirit of her time, the interwar years. She understood deeply the importance of family, of friends, and of building connection through entertaining and dancing and playing games.
In 1928, Mom was born, the sixth child of Hazel and Floyd Washburn. She lived on a farm 10 miles north of Stenen, Saskatchewan. She had five sisters - Grace, Isabelle, Cora, Ruthie, and Lois - and two brothers - Robert and David. She wrote in the family memoir, ”What I can remember is a home full of love, laughter, and singing. Our folks would always play cards and dominoes with us. We became very good card players.” Now that’s an understatement! Mom loved playing cards. Her family loved playing cards. We had Whist Drives between the cabins when at Crystal Lake. We played cards not only in Stenen, but also in Penticton, in Richmond, in Hope, at Manning Park, in Edmonton, in Regina, in Melbourne, and at the Minoru Care Home. We played cards the day before she went to the hospital on April 29th, 2022.
Mom was raised in a home without electricity, running water, or inside bathrooms. Outhouse it was. Horses tilled the fields. Chickens and pigs grazed in the yard. Mom rode horseback to school. She wore hand-me-downs from older sisters, and worked hard on the farm, especially at threshing time. Mom loved her family. Mom wrote, “We were very poor as far as money was concerned, but also, very rich as we always had lots of food, meat, and milk. Mom and Dad had a huge garden, that kept us in vegetables all winter. We had many friends and neighbours, and they were welcome in our home.”
In 1946, at the age of seventeen, Mom travelled by train to Hedley, B.C. and worked at Collens Department Store. In Hedley, she met Dad, Robert Lloyd Batie, and in February 18th, 1947, returned to Stenen to be married. Mom and Dad started their lives together in Hedley in “The Last Chance” house, a one bedroom house with no running water and an outside toilet. They went to bathe at Grandma and Grandpa Batie’s and Mom wrote that she would “phone home and cry and cry, I was so homesick.” Mom and Dad at this time in their lives had little money, but many friends. So, they had card and dinner parties at “The Last Chance” home.
And she continued to have card and dinner parties throughout her life: family, friends, parties, cards, and fun.
My mom gave birth to me in October of 1947. She was from the very beginning a cheerleader and believer in me. Solid and supportive. Interested and intrigued. Capable and caring. Intuitively kind. I am very grateful.
In 1954. Mom and Dad moved to Penticton. Mom worked part-time at Simpson Sears, The Bay, and O. B. Allan Jewellers. In 1961, they bought the house at 533 Papineau Street in Penticton. Life was more comfortable for Mom and, yes, she played a lot of cards, went to dances, and to friends’ homes.
In July, 1976, Mom and Dad moved into the new house they built in Kaleden. She loved living in Kaleden. She loved her raspberry patch, her vegetable garden, her beautiful home. And she loved her neighbours, her friends. Just one example: her next-door-neighbours, - Carol and Bob Lincoln and Sylvia and Hank Lenters along with their daughter, Anda, and her husband, Rolley, had Christmas dinner parties early in December for over twenty years. Now, she did not play cards with the Lincolns, Lenters, and Clements, ,but she played games, very silly games. Often you had to sing for your supper. They drank just a little bit of wine.
In 1976, Amanda Leigh Carey was born, her first granddaughter. In 1981, Alisa Mae Carey was born. Granddaughter Number Two. Marcia adored them. When we came to visit, she had a train hidden under the chesterfield for each of them. Simple gifts. Wrapped gifts. Such excitement. Such fun. Mom came to the Coast most Octobers and took Amanda and Alisa to the Richmond Mall to shop and have lunch. They looked at Christmas gifts that they would like and Mom made notes and went back to buy what they liked and what she liked. When Julian and Holden, Mom’s great grandchildren, visited Kaleden, they scampered up the stairs to the same gift-wrappng-under-the-chesterfield-ritual. Thoughtful, Mom was.
In the 1980’s and 1990’s, Mom travelled: cruises to the Mexican Riviera, the Caribbean, the Mediterranean, Alaska. She toured Europe. On land or by air, she travelled to: Las Vegas. Palm Springs. Mesa. Phoenix. Yuma, Branson, and Nashville.
In 2015, Mom moved from Kaleden to 403 - 272 Green Avenue West, Penticton, B.C. She completely renovated the two-bedroom apartment and made it her new home. She loved her new apartment. It was close to Merv and Bets, special people in Mom’s life, whom she visited often and, yes, played cards and had dinners and regular Saturday breakfasts.
And at this new home, Mom learned that she had Multiple Myeloma.
I talked with Mom about her life in 2019. She mentioned the holidays. She talked proudly of being given a life time membership to the Penticton Curling Club; she beamed when talking about golfing with her golf buddies. She recollected her volunteer hours at the Soup Kitchen and at the B.C. Summer Games. She believed her gardening and canning skills were important activities. When I asked her, “ Mom, what was your favourite memory?”
She replied, ”Family times and trips to Saskatchewan. We never missed a family gathering.”
And so, in September 2018, Mom returned to Stenen, Saskatchewan, and hosted a final family gathering at the Stenen Hall. We had a programme. Now, a programme means in Washburn- speak that members of the family entertain other members of the family. We had piano playing, singing, dancing, skits, poems, readings. It was wonderful. Mom’s last trip home.
And when she was at Minoru Residence after the party at Stenen, Saskatchewan, she looked forward to phone calls from her nieces and nephews: Her phone became her spiritual-lifeline. Aunt Ruthie and Mom talked daily; Ronnie and Mom talked daily; Aunt Grace, phoned often; and Aunt Marianne, phoned and sent cards and pictures.
A dear friend of mine sent these words to me:
“Dearest Nance, Lance, Amanda, Alisa, Holden and Julian,
Your dear mum was a strong, golden thread woven into the fabric of all our lives. She had a way of being so kind and welcoming to many, many people. Her entertainments, dinner, gardening, curling and canning are legendary. Christmases, Easters, and any holiday were made more special by her many cute games and treats.
I will miss her watching us play games at your kitchen table; I will miss the singing around the piano; I will miss walking through beautiful Minoru Park with her in her snazzy wheel chair. Most of all, I will miss our heart-to-hearts. She was good at them.”
And just before I drove to Penticton, Naoko, the Social Worker at One West at Minoru Residence phoned (She had been away on holidays when Mom died) to say that my mom, Marcia Mae Batie, was so beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside. She noticed how very thankful and kind she was and she would miss her.
Family. Friends. Cards. Games. Laughter. Music. Even with all of these, life is difficult; it takes perseverance, ambition, passion, guts, courage, soul, heart, attitude, humour, love, creativity, and joy to live it well. Mom lived her life well.