In keeping with the Orthodox Church spiritual traditions, the 40th day memorial service to recognize the passing of Lucy Shoofey will be held on
Sunday, July 15th at Saint Nicholas Antiochian Orthodox Church
in Montreal, Quebec.


Tribute to Mom

By Liz Shoofey Stabler
Read at Mount Royal Cemetery on June 15, 2012

We are here today to pay tribute to my Mother Lucy or Lou as we often referred to her.

I know each of you have fond memories of my Mother – either a favorite story or probably a favorite meal that reminds you of her.  I’d like to share some of mine but I know there are so many great memories that I will barely touch the surface today I suppose I should be trying to give an uplifting message today and say things like “Don’t be sad,” or “let’s look upon today as a celebration of her life,” or “we were lucky to have her as long as we did,” “she had a good long life” and so on.
Well I’m not going to go there because for me this is a sad day and yes I was privileged to have her in my life as long as I did but right now it feels like it wasn’t long enough.  I feel like she left us too soon and I would have wanted more time.
I’m sure we would all agree that although she may have been small in stature, she had a larger than life personality and we are all going to feel that loss.
When it came to family, she really was a force to be reckoned with.  Family was everything to her and I can never remember a time when I didn’t feel loved, supported and that basically whatever I did was good simply because I was her daughter.  Of course nothing I did could compare to Bob because he truly was the centre of her world for the past 11 years.  That worship or adoration was, I have to admit, well-deserved.
Bob, your devotion to Mom was remarkable – visiting 2 or 3 times a day and not just being there but keeping her mind sharp by talking to her and updating her on all the family news.  A few weeks ago my Mother referred to Bob as her father- I’m sure we’d all agree that Bob really is aging well.  As funny as that sounds, I believe it’s an indication of how safe and protected she felt.  Your jokes though, Bob, I have to admit even she knew they weren’t funny but she humored you.  The “Liz Who” joke has been going on for years.  I would call Bob at Mom’s or he would call me and he’d yell “Ma it’s Liz” then he’d tell her to say “Liz who”.  She’d say it of course because Bob told her to.  Then she’d say “Bob made me say that.”  And I’d tell her that it was a stale joke and not even funny.  She’d always say ”I know, but Bob likes it.”
She always maintained that sense of humor and loved to laugh.  I have a message on my answering machine at home that is saved and has been on my machine for 2 years. (I’m not sure why the system doesn’t delete it – probably because somehow it was meant to be left for me when I need to hear her voice).  On this particular day I wasn’t home and her message was “this is the mayor of Vancouver.”  When I got home I phoned her and said that I got this message from the mayor of Vancouver- she just laughed.
I think it’s appropriate today to talk about what for the past year Bob has jokingly referred to as “the gift of time”.  The girls and I were visiting just before Christmas and Bob decided that instead of buying us gifts he would give us “the gift of time” – which essentially meant whenever we went to the store or to visit my Mom he’d come along and say he was giving us the gift of time-his time.  Of course he got carried away and used this line whenever he joined us to do anything even if it was following us downstairs at his house.  For my birthday this year I planned a trip to Vegas with Rae and Dawn.  And my birthday gift from Bob was- you guessed it- the gift of time and he came along to Vegas.  Well Bob I must say your devotion to Mom without a doubt added many many years to her life and for all of us who loved her so much you really did give us a wonderful gift of time, extra time made possible by you keeping her excited about things and keeping up her will to live.  So on behalf of all of us thank you Bob- that gift of time is priceless.
For as long as I can remember my Mother had certain expressions that she would use that I never heard anywhere else- they are what I call “Louisms”.  I’d like to share some of those today.
I’ll start with my favorite: “That’s a good one” – She would say this anytime you told her something new.  For the past few years her memory wasn’t as good as it used to be but that didn’t upset her-even if I’d just told her something, if I told her again she’d be excited and say “that’s a good one.”  Last year as we were planning Dawn and Marc’s wedding we’d keep her informed of all the details, even taking the dress and showing it to her.  She’d get all excited then she’d say “Dawn’s getting married, well that’s a good one”.
She also had a French expression that I think you could say was the equivalent of “that’s a good one”.  She used to say “J’ai mon voyage!”
And keeping with an International theme one of my favorite Lebanese expressions was “bint hallel” – the transalation of this one baffles me but if I would phone Mom at the same time that she was thinking of me, she’d hear my voice and say “bint hallel”.  She told me a long time ago that it means “your father was a good man”.  While I know this to be true I’m not sure what that has to do with 2 people thinking of each other at the same time.  But I find myself using that expression when it fits.  About a month ago a friend of mine phoned just as I was about to phone her.  I immediately said “bint hallel”.  Of course I had to explain what it meant and she laughed and said her father was indeed a good man.
And who can forget “ulla rod” or God willing- she’s been saying that all our lives whenever we would make plans to do something.  And I’m pleased to add another expression to my Lebanese list- Dominique tells me the one expression she used to use that he remembers well and uses with his children is “slamly hal wige” which means bless that face.
Lately she also took to saying “ya robbi” a lot – not exactly sure what the translation is but she’d say it if she didn’t like what a nurse or care aide was asking her to do or it could be she just didn’t like them.
Another expression I’ve heard a lot was “don’t take chances” .  Now my mother was a very cautious person so many everyday things to her seemed risky.  For instance I never learned to swim as a child cause when I wanted to go to Girl Guide Camp where I hoped to be learning to swim I wasn’t allowed to go because she didn’t want to take chances.  In my mother’s eyes I must have been quite a risk taker- when Rae was a few months old I went to Montreal with her and my mother was so amazed that I could travel alone on an airplane with a baby.  I told her the plane ride was fine and I had sat next to a lady who held Rae so I could eat.  Well that brought an immediate ”Why do you take chances, that lady could have stolen her”.  When I explained she’d have nowhere to go as we were thousands of feet in the air, she said “You never know”.  When the girls were little I tried to be careful how much I told her so that she wouldn’t be upset by all the chances I was taking.  I remember when Dawn was in preschool and my mother called I said I was just leaving to pick up Dawn.  She was horrified that I left Dawn there with strangers and of course I was told to stop taking chances.
For the past few years my mother has had to watch Bob and I take chances every spring when we run the 10 km Sun Run.  I don’t think she quite understood why anyone would purposely run and when we’d get back from the run the first thing she would ask is if anyone fell.  She was relieved when she heard that neither of us had fallen but she’d shake her head and say “Boy you kids take chances.”
I asked the girls if there were any “Tettyisms” that came to mind and it was unanimous.  They both said she always said “Aw hell” – wasn’t sure if that was appropriate to include here Father Mark but I have to admit she said it a lot.  Bob remembers her lately using the word enough when she was done something.  Then he’d ask “enough is enough?” and she’d agree and put her hands down in this particular gesture.
Another thing the girls reminded me of is that she would often comment on our hair- usually it was mine and she’d say “What’s wrong with your hair?”- this would often come out of the blue.  Or she’d look at the girls and comment that one of them’s hair looked good and we’d ask about the other one’s hair and she’d just say “No good.”  It varied as to who’s hair looked good but she definitely liked to comment on our hair.  When I visited this past April Bob had gotten a very short haircut, what you might call a buzz cut.  Well this drew quite a reaction and she told Bob repeatedly that he was bald.
Being tall was very important to my mother.  For as long as I can remember anyone who was tall got immediate respect from my mother.  When my mother first met Marc who is now Dawn’s husband, she was immediately impressed because he’s tall.  But she also decided he came from a good family because his socks were so white.  Marc I hope now that you guys are married that when Dawn does laundry she realizes your family’s reputation is at stake.  Two years ago the girls and I and Marc and Shaun (who is now engaged to Rae) visited Mom- she was so pleased to see her granddaughters with tall men.  When Rae and Shaun decided to get married we told her the news and I reminded her that she’d met Shaun and he was tall.  “Is he from a good family?” she asked.  Of course my immediate response was ,“You should see how white his socks are.”  Remember that Rae when you do laundry- Shaun’s family name is at stake.
Speaking of being tall, to my mother that also meant being smart.  On my mother’s last visit to Saskatoon several years ago she met Carol, a good friend of ours, who happens to be tall.  Of course she decided she must be smart.  But she was baffled by the fact that Carol isn’t married and she would say “How come she can’t find a man, she’s got everything, she’s tall?”
Yes she made us laugh a lot and I know for myself these “Louisms” will comfort me and make me smile.
I’d like to close with one final story.  Last year when the girls and I visited, Mom asked Dawn where we were staying and when she heard we were staying at Bob’s she said “Why don’t you stay upstairs with Henri?”  This as many of you know is in reference to the old days on Park Avenue when Uncle Henry lived upstairs.  Well I think it’s fitting to say that my mother is at peace upstairs with Henri, my Dad, Frank and so many of her family members who meant so much to her.  I think if I had to leave you with a message from my mother it would be Take Care of Family, Family is Everything.  Thanks for teaching us that Mom.  I believe that in her final days Mom made sure we got comfort from each other because she declined very quickly while Rae, Dawn, Bob and Uncle John and I were in Vegas.  She waited for Bob to come home and when she bid her final farewell I know she knew we were together comforting each other.  Thanks Uncle John for being there for us and thanks Eleanor for all you did that weekend, you were amazing.
And maybe I will try for an inspiring message after all.  After Dawn’s wedding I was feeling the letdown after all the energy that we put into the planning and celebration and I was comforted by this phrase. “Don’t be sad because it’s over, be glad because it happened.”  Don’t be sad that my mother is gone, be glad that she blessed us by being in our lives and leaving us with so many cherished memories.


Obituary:
We are deeply saddened to announce the passing of our mother, Lucy Shoofey, in Vancouver, British Columbia, at the age of 98.

Lucy was predeceased by her mother, Massouk Abdou, her father, Elias Zakour, her husband, Nicholas, her son, Franklin and her siblings George, Henry, John, Joseph, Philip and Mary. She will be sadly missed by her children Robert (Eleanor) and Elizabeth (Garry), her brother Michael (June) and her brother-in-law John. She was a loving grandmother to Rae (Shaun), Dawn (Marc), Mychelle and Dominique (Stéphanie), a great-grandmother to Raphaëlle, Alexandra and Emma and a caring aunt to many nieces and nephews. Others who have known her, including a long list of friends of the family, will also miss her. Lucy’s influence was felt and enjoyed by many.

Lucy was born on September 26, 1913 in Joliette, Québec to Massouk Abdou and Elias Zakour. She spent her early years in Joliette, Grand-Mère and Shawinigan. Her family moved to Montreal in 1933, where Lucy met her future husband, Nicholas. They were married in 1940 and they began their life together in ¬Montreal. Lucy and Nicholas had three children - Franklin, Robert and Elizabeth. Nicholas passed away in December of 1958. Lucy continued to live in Montreal until the age of 85 when she moved to Vancouver, British Columbia.

Lucy loved her family dearly. She was a terrific cook and often had family gatherings where she would prepare many wonderful dishes of Lebanese food. She was well known for her fatayer, kibbi, bitinjan, hommous, laban, warak dawali and koosa. On special occasions, she would make Lebanese desserts such as baklawa, kaak, ghoraibi and ma’amoul bi ajwi. Lucy was also famous for her pies, especially apple, blueberry and Bob’s favourite - cherry. On Liz’s birthday, she would make Queen Elizabeth cake. On other occasions, Lucy would whip up a delicious pineapple upside down cake and a frozen pineapple cake. Whenever you visited Lucy, she would insist that you share a meal. Family gatherings were often filled with stories, laughter and memorable times. Offer Lucy chocolate and her eyes would light up! She loved listening to music, discussing politics and following prominent sports personalities. Lucy was loving and caring. She was a wife, mother, friend, counselor, doctor, lawyer and she always prefaced her advice with, “I don’t want to interfere but …”. She had a great sense of humour and a sparkle in her eyes. Lucy will forever be in the hearts of her family and friends.



Remembering Lucy
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she lived a full life
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or cherish your memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind
Be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want:
Find humour in life, cherish your loved ones and …. Smile.
Modified from David Harkins, 1958.

"Christ is Risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and to those in the tombs, bestowing life"

We wish to express our sincere gratitude for your sympathy, kindness, thoughts and prayers during this time.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Saint Nicholas Antiochian Orthodox Church.
80 de Castelnau East
Montreal, Quebec
H2R 1P2
Tel. Church Office: (514) 270-9788
http://www.stnicholasmtl.org/