The journey of saying goodbye to a loved one is filled with emotions, and choosing the right urn to celebrate their life is a significant part of that journey. We understand the weight of this decision, and are here to help you navigate through this process, whether you’re honouring a loved one or planning for yourself.  Here are some important aspects to consider to make a choice that truly resonates:

Losing a cherished family member or friend is an emotional journey, and composing an obituary can be both a touching and daunting endeavour. More than just a formal announcement, an obituary is a profound tribute that captures a lifetime of memories, commemorates achievements, and offers solace to those who mourn. This guide will provide you with empathetic insights into creating an obituary that captures the essence of your loved one and brings comfort to readers looking to honor their memory.

This blog post is not for the squeamish or faint of heart. We’re going to try to answer some questions about embalming and why the decision would be made to undertake this procedure. Or not…. Let’s start by stating that the cells in a human body begin to decompose immediately after death. The decisions the family and loved ones make about what comes next will determine whether or not they choose to have the decedent embalmed. If the choice is to have the body cremated with no viewing, embalming is not necessary. If, however, the decision is to have a viewing, it is recommended that the body is embalmed. This procedure stops the decay of the body for the period of time that is often necessary to allow family and friends to gather. It helps restore the appearance of the body and can help to remove evidence of accidents or disease, resulting in an acceptable physical appearance of the decedent.  Embalming is the replacement of the fluids in the body with a solution that preserves and disinfects and allows for the features of the decedent to be set in a natural way. Besides disinfecting and slowing the decomposition process, embalming contains pigments that enhance the appearance of the deceased, such as returning colour to the face and hands. The choice to embalm is a personal one and should be discussed with your Funeral Director to determine what your decision will be. If your loved one has undergone an autopsy or experienced a traumatic accident, some form of repair, including embalming, is often highly recommended if there is to be a viewing. It can be exceedingly difficult for family and loved ones to view the decedent in these circumstances. Your Funeral Director will discuss their condition with you and help you to decide the best course of action that takes into consideration the peace of mind for everyone involved. Embalming may also necessary depending on the amount of time that will pass between the death and the burial or cremation. Another consideration is what will be required if, for example, your loved one is to be placed in a crypt. The cemetery you choose may require embalming if this is your plan for disposition. The preservation effects of embalming can last from a few days to about a week. Modern preservation methods also include refrigeration to ensure that your loved one’s remains are preserved until burial or cremation. Any questions you have about whether or not a body should be embalmed can be answered by Kearney’s knowledgeable, professional Funeral Directors. It is an often contentious subject with families and we can help everyone understand so that an informed decision can be made.

Did you know that, in the first 24 hours after a person dies, there are about 70 questions to be answered and decisions to be made. When making arrangements, you will have to decide whether your loved one is to be buried or cremated. Will you want to have a funeral, memorial service or celebration of life? Or perhaps you will decide that no service will be necessary. Will you want your loved one to be embalmed? Will there be a viewing? If you decide on cremation, what kind of urn will you select for the cremated remains? If your loved one is to be buried, which casket will you choose?  In the middle of all of this decision-making, you will be asked if you wish to have your loved one’s fingerprints preserved and if you wish to vv a sample of his or her DNA. These may be procedures that you previously had not considered. You may ask “why would we want to do either of these things?”. You will be advised that you will have to make your decision in a timely manner as neither of these options is available after burial or cremation. If you authorize Kearney’s to collect digitally scanned fingerprints from your loved one, these can subsequently be used for the production of personalized jewelry or keepsakes. Kearney’s works with a company called Eternity’s Touch, which stores the fingerprints in their main archive for ten years before moving them to a long-term archive. If you decide to proceed with DNA preservation, Kearney’s will send a sample from your loved one to a company called SecuriGene for processing. Their lab will extract, purify and preserve the DNA sample, seal it and return it to you for safekeeping along with full reports certifying the quantity and purity of the banked DNA. The information contained in this sample could be used by your family in future for health care purposes or for ancestry tracing. Having collected fingerprints, you will have many options to use them in creating beautiful, memorial keepsakes. You may decide to use them to create a uniquely personal connection to your loved one by having them digitally transferred to a piece of white or yellow gold jewelry that will become a comforting memorial of your loved one. Eternity’s Touch has many more options for you to chose from to allow you to experience the closeness of your loved on every day. A decision to collect DNA gives you several options. Medical professionals are increasingly relying on genetic testing to determine different cancer types and hereditary disease risks – these tests have the potential to help other members of the family. DNA samples can also be used in researching genealogical history through websites like ancestry.ca. Decisions about collecting fingerprints and DNA are just two of many choices families are asked to consider when a loved one dies. It is important to keep in mind that, once burial or cremation have taken place, there is no longer the option to choose either of these procedures. For more information on both fingerprint and DNA collection, please check out these websites: www.eternitystouch.com and www.SecureGene.com.

So many decisions to make when someone you love dies..... after the initial arrangements are completed – cremation or burial, service or no service, embalming or no embalming, visitation or no visitation – you may wish to consider whether you want your loved one to be remembered through the creation of memorial stationery or keepsakes.  There are many options to choose from if you decide to purchase funeral stationery. Prayer or Memorial Cards can be used as a memento of the funeral. These are nice for your guests to have as a remembrance of the individual who has died. They normally display a photo of the person who died along with the details of their birth and death, as well as information about the service, such as the date and place. These cards can become a treasured item to keep in memory of the individual who has died. Order of Service stationery can also be a helpful for your guests to have. This contains the details of the funeral ceremony, including any readings and hymns. This can make it easier for your guests to follow along with the service. A Personalized Guest Book is appreciated by families who can look back after the service to be reminded of those who attended the service. At a large gathering, family members may not be able to see or speak individually to everyone who has attended. This option also gives your guests an opportunity to leave a caring message for the family. Personalized Banner together with some of your loved one’s cherished personal effects that can make personalized stage for celebrating their life so those who attended the service or Celebration of Life can have a remembrance of your loved one. Slide Show Video a way to make a photo story or video of your loved ones’ life and special moments that can be showcase on a big screen on the day of the service or just a keepsake for you to tresure and watch to remember those special moments. Thank You Cards are a lovely way of showing your gratitude to those who have offered condolences to your family – those who have sent flowers or made donations in memory of your loved one, for example. All of the above options can be designed with a common theme that represents the personality of your loved one. Our talented graphic artist at Kearney’s will be happy to work with you to create these works of remembrance for your family and friends. Kearney’s can also offer your family more unique ways to remember your loved one in the form of memorial jewelry or other keepsakes that display the fingerprint or contain some of the cremated remains of the individual who has died. This could be an engraved picture frame, a pendant necklace or earrings in a wide range of designs or a glass paperweight. Our caring and knowledgeable staff at Kearney’s will be happy to guide you through all of the available options from our friends at Eternity’s Touch. Framed Canvas Portrait 8x10 photo Canvas portrait, professionally created by Collection-Souvenir, using technology that renders the photo to an oil painting placed on a beautiful frame, for you to have a beautiful picture of your loved one. Ink and Digital Fingerprints a currently popular memorialization, is through ink and digital fingerprints of a loved one, in fact, some families request that, as well as other commemoration projects such as footprints cast in cement for garden steppingstones, to printing on pendant jewelry. Keepsake Memorial Jewelry one way to keep a loved one close to the heart is through beautiful keepsake jewelry, such as ones offered by Eternity’s Touch who can store a piece of your loved one (in the form of their cremated remains) into a special pendant, locket, ring, or another piece to wear so you have them with you wherever you go. Customized Urns are a way of keeping the physical remains of a loved one who has passed, close to family. But they can also express a statement through personalization. By customizing an urn, families can continue to preserve and commemorate their loved one for years to come by selecting the material including marble, metal and even reclaimed wood sourced locally in B.C., as provided by Kearney partner, BAM Woodworks on Salt Spring Island. Virtual Memorialization Event the COVID-19 pandemic changed the way many events are conducted, including funeral ceremonies that had limited capacity, creating new options for sharing these moments in virtual ways. So, if you wish to include everyone who played an integral role in your loved one’s life, who can’t attend or are overseas, you can opt for an online memorialization. Online Memorialization can be done through storytelling in the form of words and images posted online where access to the information is widespread over various forms of social media. Kearney Funeral Services can work with you to provide the right wording and platform to honour your loved one memory. And visitors to the online obituary section can leave their messages of condolence. That way, friends, co-workers, and others who were important to your loved one can attend in a virtual room where you can all talk about your favourite memories. Customers can select from a range of biodegradable materials, such as urns handcrafted from recycled paper, beach sand, and even Himalayan rock salt. That way, families who wish to scatter their loved one’s ashes, or place their remains out in a place of significance to them, can do so with minimal impact to the environment. Memorial stationery and keepsakes can provide peace and comfort for the family and friends long after a loved one has died. These tangible reminders, each unique to your loved one, can bring solace in times of loss and grief.

When and Why should you do it?  At Kearney’s, we are avid proponents of planning ahead – from thinking about your future health care needs to your wishes for your funeral – we encourage you to make pre-emptive decisions and either put them in writing or communicate verbally to your family what you want to happen in the future. We are well aware that a favourite pastime of adults young and old is procrastination. We know what we need to do but we keep putting it off to some undetermined future date, thinking we have lots of time to take care of business. Then, you might realize that not having a will could cause problems for your family and loved ones if you die. Administering your estate could be complicated, take a long time and be more expensive than if you had a will. So, at some point, creating a will is on your list of things to do. Especially if you have a family, you will want to let your family and loved ones know what you want to happen after you die – from financial matters to caring for your minor children. Having a will can prevent confusion and help to minimize disputes in your family. Then you create your will and put into writing who you wish to be your Executor or Executrix, who you want to care for your minor children and how you want your assets to be disposed of. You can do this on your own or with a notary or lawyer. And then things change in your life. You realize that all or some of the things you intended to happen after your death are no longer what you want. There are many circumstances in which you will want to make changes to your will. In any event, you should review your document at least every five years. Here are just some of life’s events that should nudge you towards amending your existing will: Your marital status changes – you get engaged or married or you become separated or divorced. Your spouse dies. You have children. You change your mind about who you wish to be your beneficiary(ies). Your relationships with the people in your life may change over time and you will want this reflected in your will. You may wish to also review who the designated beneficiaries are with respect to your life insurance, RRSPs and TFSAs if you own these products. The person you originally appointed to execute your will has died or no longer wishes to take on this task or you change your mind about who you wish to do this. You have moved out of the country or out of the province – for example, each Canadian province has different laws about estate succession. You experience a change in your financial situation. Procrastination has been characterized as “the irrational delay of tasks despite potentially negative consequences”. We often put off tasks that we perceive as difficult or unpleasant or stressful. We encourage you to take the important step now to review your will. There’s no time like the present to ensure that it reflects your current life situation.

At Kearney’s, we are great proponents of planning ahead for what you would want to happen when you die – that way you will have a say in whether you are buried or cremated and in what kind of service your loved ones will have for you.  We believe it is equally important for you to plan for the kind of health care you would want to receive if the time ever comes that you couldn’t speak for yourself. The complexity of end-of-life care can be overwhelming for those who may need to make decisions on behalf of a loved one who is no longer capable to make them for him or herself. You can help them by indicating clearly, while you are able to do so, how you want your care and treatment carried out. You can do this by communicating your wishes in writing or verbally to those who will make these decisions for you – family, friends and health care providers. It is important to remember that you will always be asked first as long as you are able to make your own decisions – as long as you can understand and communicate with your care providers. But there may come a time, due to illness or injury, that you will be incapable of expressing your wishes. To try to detail what you would want in specific medical situations could result in the creation of complicated or even confusing instructions. For this reason, it is a good idea for you to chose a trusted individual who will make decisions for you that are in your best interests and in keeping with your beliefs and values about care at the end of life. If you don’t designate a specific individual to speak for you by way of a Representation Agreement, there is a legal order in British Columbia legislation in which individuals will be approached to make health care decisions for you, starting with your spouse, your children, your parent, your sibling and the list goes on. The first step will be deciding who your advocate will be. The next step is that all-important communication with your advocate. You can do this in writing or verbally. Having these kinds of conversations can be very difficult, but it is essential that you express your wishes while you are able to do so. This will make it much easier for your spokesperson to make your decisions with the confidence of knowing that it would be what you would decide if you could communicate. You will probably not be able to cover every possibility of what could happen to you in future. For this reason, choosing a trusted advocate will ensure that he or she will make decisions based on your beliefs and values and with your best interests in mind. You might want to think about whether you would want your care providers to attempt cardiopulmonary resuscitation if you were to experience a cardiac arrest. Depending on your specific circumstances, you may wish to forgo this procedure. We know that it doesn’t always work and can sometimes cause irreparable physical harm. What about organ donation? If you wish to be considered as a donor, you must be registered with BC Transplant. What would you want to happen if you were in a situation where your medical treatment was more of a burden to you than a benefit? Your treatment options can be made based on your subjective response to them. This might be in the case of chemo therapy for cancer or for kidney dialysis. It is perfectly acceptable for you to decide to forgo or discontinue these treatments. If you were unable to express your wishes about these and other things, your advocate can do so for you. There are many other situations where decisions may be needed about your care, such as palliative care, dementia care, pastoral care and more. We encourage you to do your planning in advance, whether or not you put your wishes in writing. Talk to your family, loved ones and physicians about the care and treatment you expect to receive when needed. The greater the number of people who are aware of what your choices are, the better the possibility that your wishes will be followed. To help you plan, you may wish to go to www2.gov.bc.ca and download the Advance Care Planning Guide.

When an individual is at the end of life and a natural expected death is anticipated, he or she has a right to make decisions that fit with their values, beliefs and wishes. If you know that death is imminent, a good idea is to have a plan and to let your family, other loved ones and care givers know exactly what your wishes are. You have the right to have your wishes respected.  You may not wish to die in the hospital. You have the right to choose to die in your home if that is what you want. Creating a clear plan will help your family know what they have to do when you die. There are many things that need to be considered if your choice is to die in your home. You have the right to have medical care and support provided for you, keeping in mind that circumstances may change unexpectedly. Ideally, it is best to establish a relationship with home nursing services and/or home hospice services as soon as you know you will need them. You will also want to consider signing a “No Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation” form. This is something to consider if you have decided, in discussion with your physician, that attempting resuscitation would be medically futile. Signing such an order indicates to first responders that they should not initiate any resuscitation attempts. Keep in mind that you can always change your mind and revise any part of your plan at any time. Your situation may change over time and you may want to reconsider your choices. A form titled “Notification of Expected Death” is completed if you have decided to die at home. A copy of this form is provided to the Funeral Home of your choice. They will have the authorization in place so that your family can contact them directly once your death has occurred so that they can bring you into their care. Your family does not need to notify the Coroner when an expected death from natural causes occurs. They also do not have to call the police. When an expected death at home occurs, there is no legal requirement for death to be pronounced but families may decide to have a doctor or nurse come to your home to do so. The time to initiate a discussion about home death is when you are faced with a life=threatening/terminal illness where death is anticipated. This will require open communication with you, your family and your care providers. For more detailed information, please go to www@.gov.bc.ca and look for Expected/Planned Home Deaths. The Province of British Columbia has developed a “Joint Protocol for Expected/Planned Home Deaths in British Columbia”. This document contains very informative content that will guide you in arranging for care and planning a death at home.

I Need a Will - Should I Do It Myself?